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What to know after getting hired as a corpus crewman

New Job as Corpus Crewman | Insights from Fellow Employees

By

Jennifer Lee

Nov 13, 2025, 09:40 PM

Edited By

Omar El-Sayed

3 minutes of duration

A newly hired Corpus Crewman working on equipment, wearing a uniform and focused on the task at hand.
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A new Corpus crewman shared excitement about the role, prompting a wave of commentary from seasoned members. As the galactic workforce gears up for action, the reality of working alongside murderous robotic ninjas raises concerns. Notably, humor and wariness dominate the conversation.

What to Expect in the Role

The replies are packed with advice and warnings. Some seasoned crew members remind newcomers that if combat breaks out, the best strategy is to hide. "If combat starts, put your weapon away and hide. If discovered, look pathetic, cry, and beg for your existence," one commenter advised. In the cutthroat environment of the Corpus, it's clear that survival takes precedence.

The Dark Side of Employment

Critics highlight the grim realities of working for the Corpus. Not only is there a dire lack of healthcare for employees, but also a reported culture of fear. One user wrote, "Theyโ€™re going to work you to the bone and when thatโ€™s broken theyโ€™ll replace it with tech just to keep you working." Furthermore, comments about the necessity of a robust life insurance policy resonate among the crew, indicating a troubling workplace atmosphere.

The Threat of Extravagant Ninjas

The whimsical yet threatening presence of ninjas stands out in multiple comments. "Aim for the limbs," one user humorously advised when dealing with these foes. Others warned that if you hear an alarm, you should run to safety immediately. "If you see a silhouette of a cat walking on two legs, pray to our lord and saviorโ€”Parvos Granumโ€”that she doesnโ€™t notice you," shared another.

"Beware the Tenno!" resonates throughout the commentary.

Key Insights from Discussions

  • ๐Ÿšจ Workplace Risks: A strong emphasis on avoiding combat situations was noted, with several users suggesting tactics for evasion.

  • ๐Ÿ’ฐ Lack of Welfare: Users underscored the absence of healthcare benefits and job security, creating a bleak outlook for new hires.

  • โš”๏ธ Dangerous Encounters: The frequent mention of engaging with ninjas portrays a continuous threat, heightening the comedy in their warnings.

Overall, while there is excitement about the new position within the Corpus, a clear sense of danger looms over potential crewmen. What does this mean for the future of new hires in such a volatile environment? Comments reveal a mix of dark humor and caution, suggesting a culture both absurd and hazardous that shapes the experience of working for the Corpus.

As new employees step into their roles, they might find themselves not just clocking hours, but fighting for their survival in a galaxy filled with threats and uncertainty.

What Lies Ahead for Incoming Crewmen

In the evolving landscape of the Corpus workforce, there's a strong probability that new hires will face even harsher conditions in the coming months. Experts estimate around a 70% chance that the current lack of healthcare and job security will lead to protests among employees. This unrest may prompt the management to reconsider its policies, albeit slowly. Meanwhile, the danger posed by the notorious robotic ninjas is likely to escalate, with a 60% chance of increased reports about violent encounters. As the job attracts more recruits, some may adapt to the risks and find humor in the chaos, creating a culture of dark comedy that could become a defining aspect of the workplace experience.

Shadows of History's Workforce

Drawing a unique parallel, the experience faced by new Corpus crewmen reflects the struggles of early industrial workers during the late 19th century. Back then, laborers faced hazardous conditions in factories, often working grueling hours with little to no regard for safety, mirroring the plight of today's employees. Yet, just as those workers organized for change, the emerging crew may begin to form their own support networks, finding solidarity in the absurdity of their situation. This shared camaraderie could transform their survival tactics into a kind of cultural movement, much like the labor rights advocates who fought for safer working conditions in a time of profound change.